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Jordan De Padova

SATIRE (selections from The Brown Noser)

News

Small Midwestern Town Forced To Use Same Pond For Ice Fishing As They Do For Tragic Drunk Driving Accidents

Diary Entry De-Railed By Attempt To Spell Enuormuous

Hunter Scrambling To Protect Endangered Species So He Can Get Chance To Shoot Them

Report: Mr. Scrout’s Boys Really Going To Look You Dead In The Eyes And Tell You They Have No Idea What Happened To Your Prize Hog

Nation In Shock After The Sudden Death Of One Of The Youngest 90 Year Olds In Congress

Old Growth Tree Bark No Match For Love Of James S + Sarah T

Ancient Philosopher About To End Hot Streak By Saying Dogs Are Horses Born At Night

“So, Yeah” Perfectly Ties Up Presentation

Amazon’s Newest Environmental Initiative Requires Drivers To Transition To Reusable Piss Bottles

Polo Team Pre-Game Ritual Just Spending 20 Years Living A Sheltered Life

Racehorse Wondering If It Cherished Member Of Family Or Asset

French Guy Absolutely Cannot Believe You’ve Never Watched “L’Étrange Et Terrible Aventure De L’Archiduc Et Du Docteur Chevrie Molyneux”

Maybelline Vows To End Animal Testing On All Rabbits That Don’t Look Stunning With Blush On

Childhood Bully Not So Tough Now That You Two Are Gently Kissing And Reflecting On Your Unlikely Love

Every Football Player In Big Huddle Too Nervous To Talk First

IKEA Gives New Homeowners Helpful Insight Into What Their Bedroom Would Look Like If It Opened Up To A 15 Million Square Foot Industrial Warehouse

Report: Maddie Sang “Firework” At The Talent Show And Everyone Knew It Was About Kayden

Opinion

The Power Plant Is Fine And All That Smoke Just Means It’s Working Extra Well
by Slint Shiverman, CEO SmogTar Energy Solutions

Elephants Are So Heavy They Would Definitely Pop A Big Ball If They Tried To Balance On One
by Guy Who Has Never Been To The Circus

What Do Tapioca Moms, Gerber Babies, and SeaWorld Employees All Have In Common? They’re Voting Blocs To Watch In 2024. Let’s Check The Map.
by Politico Online

If I Had A Dollar For Every Time I Had A Million Dollars I’d Have One Hundred And Seventeen Thousand Five Hundred Dollars
by Jeff Bezos

Read the rest of my 80+ articles here

Phone

+39 344-601-2626

Email

jordansdep@gmail.com

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